The wind begins to gently brushes my face;
Washing it with a cool light touch.
And then brushes my hair back like a mother stokes her child’s hair.
The waves lap rhythmically.
I have heard them so many times I cannot distinguish if they echo my heart
or if it is my heart that follows suit.
My breathe follows.
In and out, in and out….
Breathe comes easy and the air is inviting;
it is moist, cool and salty.
It cleanses.
the grains of sand outnumber the stars
and he knows them all.
Each one different.
I know the ocean so well. There is a bond that will never fade and each time I return it is like an old friend: We pick up just where we left off. It has been my best friend. It is where my cares are washed out with the tide and inspiration comes in the morning. It is a constant companion. I long….
My heart is heavy. I had to laugh at my happy little header as I logged on today. INSPIRE.
I have felt nothing. White…everything is white.
I had such high hopes for this year. I dreamt of the places we would go and the stories we would tell.
And yet, we are faced with a choice. Prudence or Experience.
I have never been prudent. It goes against all I stand for and yet for some reason I want to cling to the familiar…the comfortable….the “wise”.
I am tormented day in and day out by the “right” decision.
I feel like to choose one is to reject the other.
Today as I sorted through boxes and packed others, I found this. A musical snow globe that my dad had given me a long time ago…I saved it so that one day I could give it to my daughter. Well, today she got her hands on it all right. I won’t get into it but I feel like it symbolized something much deeper than a broken snow globe and I cried.
They say these times will build character. They say you will be better in the end.
All I see right now is the worst version of myself and I hate it.
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