On the first day of school…

What a ride.

Last week we visited Ben’s parents two and a half hours south of Edmonton and when we returned, it was Autumn. The vibrant green on the trees in the ravine have been replaced with a mossy yellow and there is a chill in the wind. Leaves are starting to gather on the ravine floor. Summer is gone and tomorrow Jakob and Ella will go back to school. I’ve never been so nervous about them going to school as I am this year. I almost don’t want summer to end. Jakob has made it quite clear that he does not want to go to school. He wants to live in Vancouver. He says it definitively, as if the stronger he states his opinion, the greater chance he has of making it so. He does this often. I don’t blame him. I would try the same thing. And a couple of days ago, Ella woke and the first thing she said was “School? Madame”. Oh baby, the school you know and love is gone. There is a new school and a new teacher, and it will take some time before you understand this fully. I don’t want them to go to school because it means that it is final. We are here. We are living here and we are no longer in Vancouver. I know it will be okay. Some part of me knows it will be okay and yet, my heart resists. Their school situations are less than ideal, not to mention unfamiliar. My heart aches. I know it will be okay. Some part of me knows it will be okay…