The Big Birthday Post: Part Two – Gratitude for 34 years

In the first post I talked a lot about where I want to be in five years so in this post I want to reflect on where I have come from and where I am presently.

Tonight, I went for a run for the first time in over a year and a half. I was on bedrest for part of my pregnancy with Audrey and after her delivery via c-section, I just didn’t feel the same. By the time I was feeling well again we were here, in Alberta, where while I walk plenty, it is too cold to run. I have a love-hate relationship with running. Most of the time it is just hard getting out of the house but when I did run (in my past life) I had made a totally kick-ass running playlist and once I put it on I get pumped up almost right away. (Just in case you are wondering I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas is the first song on the playlist) As I ran along the ravine, I was naturally filled with gratitude. I’m not going to lie – the last year has been shit. Seriously. If you have followed along, you know a bit of the story but know that what I write in this space is often a poor representation of reality…especially when reality kinda sucks.

It has taken a long time to settle into life in Edmonton. It has not been smooth or seemless. The Education system has failed us, especially Ella and Ben. Don’t get me wrong, they are fine now and both Ben and Ella love school but for Ella, we had to fight, fight, fight and ended up taking her out of French Immersion and putting her in English where it was a struggle to get adequate support. For Ben, some of the funding that he assumed he would receive fell through and come the end of January we found ourselves in quite the quagmire.

And while we are far from being in the clear, there is much to be grateful for.

Here are 34 things I am grateful for:

1. My God – while sometimes I can’t come out and say it aloud, I know he is in control.
2. My husband – he is a good man, a good husband and father. He just chose a challenging occupation.
3. Jakob – he is such a good big brother. He cares deeply for his sisters and sets a good example. He is fun loving and deeply compassionate.
4. Ella – she has taught me so much more than I could have ever learned in a life without her. She has taught me patience, unconditional love, selflessness, and that life is not all about accomplishments or achievements or stamps of approval but kindness and love.
5. Audrey – she affirmed point number 1 as opposed to the misconception that I am in control. She is a cuddly bundle of joy and love and all goodness.
6. Dark Chocolate
7. Jazz Music
8. Red wine
9. This moment when I get to enjoy all of the above 3 things
10. A trip home to see family and friends
11. A house that is comfortable and cozy and where I can make a home for my family.
12. I am thankful that I was able to get so much graphic design work right at the onset of my not-so-new business venture post maternity leave.
13. I am thankful for a support network of fellow bloggers, moms and influencers to share this blogging journey with.
14. I am thankful for my readers and each and every comment that gets left…even if it is just to say hi 😉
15. I am thankful for a supportive team for my other new business venture.
16. I am thankful that I can work from home, take my kids to school and pick them up.
17. I am thankful Ella is able to get Speech therapy and that I have time to read with her, or help her practice her words, or play, colour or play playdough with her.
18. I am thankful for a renewed commitment to self that has resulted in forming healthy habits that will sustain me when times get rough.
19. I am thankful for my health.
20. I am thankful that I can chase my kids, and run and move and stretch with ease and no discomfort.
21. I am thankful for language and my computer that make it possible for me to have an outlet.
22. I am thankful for my neighborhood and the community there within.
23. I am thankful for coffee…seriously….so thankful.
24. I am thankful for my bed and my room with exposed beams. After I put the girls to bed, Jakob and I snuggle in and it is where I spend my evenings.
25. I am thankful for my car. I am thankful that it has all-wheel drive and we have not once gotten stuck on our dead end street like so many people do…including the city trucks.
26. Food. I went grocery shopping today and was overcome with gratitude when I looked at my full fridge full of healthy food for my children to eat.
27. My nebulizer. It was a birthday present from my hubby and his parents – it has added exponentially to my little chambre sanctuaire
28. Little blue boxes from my mom on my birthday.
29. A sense of contentedness…in my life this is not to be taken for granted.
30. Social Media. I know right? But here’s the thing – I don’t get out much. Ben’s work takes him out most evenings and social media connects me with not only my friends I have known in person but so many other wonderful people with whom I have never had a face to face conversation.
31. Angels that provide for us financially during these desperate times.
32. Canada. I love being Canadian and rightly or wrongly feel relatively safe.
33. Nature – the ravine has been a refuge during this transition.
34. And I am thankful for 34 years. I do not take them for granted.